May 6, 2005
We slept at 3 plus the previous night (as usual), and I woke up extremely early today. 0530 Thailand Time. Last night seemed almost like a dream, and as I stared at her as she slept there was a certain sense of awe about me. Awe at God’s plan, at how things had turned out, and simply amazement that all this time I was loved, even if it was from afar.
Quiet Time. With another step into the arena of relationships comes a rational choice to commitment:
God, I want to commit this newfound relationship into Your hands. Herein is a commitment not only to love her, but to love, above all, You, with all my heart, mind, body and soul. I will honor Your Word, do Your Will, and keep You as the top priority of my life. Knowing full well that You are the author and finisher of my faith, my life, my hope, and my love. Let it always begin and end with You. Show me how much You love me and let me love her just as You have. Lord I commit this relationship into Your hands; mould it with Your expert fingers, and may every action of ours bring nothing but glory to Your name. Blessed be the Name of the Lord for He giveth and He taketh away. And I love You Lord.
[Andrew’s note: This was the exact same prayer I prayed for Esther during our wedding day.]
And I love you… So very much….
Can you feel the rhythm of heaven, Bringing freedom as we sing? Can you feel the passion growing? It is beating deep within. Can you feel the power of heaven, Bringing healing as we pray? Can you feel compassion flowing, Taking all our fears away? We lay our pride on the floor We’ve come to surrender our all To You, are the centre of it all And that is why we fall Down on our knees We’re here ‘cos we heard Your Spirit’s call Now the curtain has been torn As we worship we are free.”
The Rhythm of Heaven” – Vineyard Music
By the time she woke up, it was about an hour or more after I did, and when she saw me for the first time I remember she kept calling me an idiot haha because she had to tell Clara, Eugenia and Pui Yee. And I DID laugh at her the night before about it, so yeah. Forgiveable. Haha. – Today was the final day, and possibly the most exciting of them all. It would be our last day in the Lahu village, and also basically the highlight of the children’s camp. We started off with a very fun time of praise & worship songs. Familiar songs like “The rich man built his house upon a rock” and “Allelu Allelu Allelu Alleluia praise ye the Lord”. Songs that I used to sing when I was in sunday school. I enjoyed myself thoroughly playing the guitar for them =).
This was followed by our performance of the Testify to Love dance. And yes, I was the only guy dancing. Heh. Unfortunately you lot will not get to watch it because it wasn’t recorded. Thank God hahaha! Fun and games was outdoors today. And I must comment that the weather was really perfect for it. Rainclouds congregated over the village, blocking most of the heat from the sun, and even brought some minor drizzles which helped cool the whole place down, and very apt I must say – just in time for our final item – So You Would Come.
By the time the whole programme finished for the day (around 1400) I was exhausted. So tired, in fact, that for the first time in the trip I actually slept in the afternoon. Much-needed sleep was rudely interrupted by a sleeping bag on my face. No not that it was there all along but it LANDED on my face. And from a height. So basically u could say someone threw a sleeping bag at my face. And woke me up it did. If not for my blur state I would have been mighty pissed off but I wasn’t. I found out later that she instigated Pui Yee to do it. Grrr. Haha, but it was a small issue. We dropped by Phrao again, supposedly to buy paint and wadever stuff we needed to paint the chapel later that night. On our way back, as we sat on the pickup truck, she put her hand on mine (or did I put mine on hers? I can’t really remember, but I was happy =) ). Pui Yee commented that we kept glancing at each other, and now come to think of it, it would have been a funny sight. Heh. When we got back it was around 5. Was in and out of sleep again until dinner. Service started quite late that night because it was raining, and the generator was out again so they had to use the power from one of their jeep’s batteries to power the lights. We started off with a time of worship led by me, and I kinda regret my choice of songs because the villagers didn’t know half of them. What really encouraged me, though, was when we sang As The Deer. Hearing the song in both English and Lahu was really wow. And our God is such a great God, that even though we may have that barrier of communication between us, the word hallelujah still remains universal. And when 2 peoples of different tongues sing that together, it is powerful indeed.
Pastor Sompang, the village chief, apologised to us for not being around much during our whole trip, but not that I blame him. I’ve seen him always running around here and there, busy with projects and trying to do things for the village, and I admire his strength even though he may not get along well with the village elders, and yet he still presses on. I guess that is what we will all have to keep in prayer. And that night even as we painted the chapel and as I overheard the village leaders discussing the future of the village with Henry I suddenly felt a burden for the village as a whole.
Never mind the fact that it was already past midnight and we were still painting, and never mind that some moods were kinda foul, and never mind still that we used paintbrushes to paint the walls instead of rollers, but I felt an increasing burden, to want to help the people learn more about this God that they worship, to bring back that heart of worship to their lives.
Andrew’s note: I should probably also mention that night about something funny that happened while we were painting. A few of us were painting the walls halfway, when Clara come around asking what we had in our buckets (which was paint, duh!). Apparently both Esther and I had the same response to her question, which was “saliva”. She was as amazed as us at our answers, which occured independently, by the way. Thus would begin a series of huge coincidences (I would beg to differ that they are coincidences of course), that would define our relationship.
To the amazement of everyone, I actually took a shower that night. Now u must understand that the water there comes from the waterfall which is natually cold. And in Thailand, night = cold. So taking a shower at night is simply suicide. But the desire to feel clean again won over the fear. It wasn’t that cold really. The hardest part is just getting the bucket of water over your head (those of you who have been to Sai Yok Camp before would understand what I mean).
Haha anyway by the time all of us slept it was about 1.30 in the morning, and everyone was exhausted. But of course I stayed up talking to her and just enjoying her company, and fell asleep at 4. Serving God with her felt awesome. And for just that one day I caught a glimpse of what every relationship should be like: two people holding hands and serving God together. Fear of the April Foolsophy of the Love Life (a previous blog entry – which cannot seem to found any more) just vanished in the new faith that I found, and I believe that we will pull through. Through the thicks and the thins. I pray that God give us more conflicts that we might know each other more, and that He continue to keep us different, that our love for each other would become even more outrageous. That we can be a living testimony of what Your love really is all about.
Love despite of.
Agape.